Ever seen the movie Return to Me? Bob Rueland, a Chicago building contractor, treasures life with his beautiful wife until a fatal automobile accident alters his life. Meanwhile the family and friends of Grace Briggs, the daughter of a funny Irishman who owns an Italian restaurant, are elated when a donor’s heart is secured to prolong Grace’s life. Bob and Grace meet through a twist of fate and after falling in love, Grace comes across information that ways heavy on her heart.
Grace is faced with the issue of full disclosure. At first, Grace fears disclosing to Bob her heart condition, however after coming across information that she is the recipient of Bob’s wife’s heart, she is overwhelmed with fear until she discloses the truth to Bob. Grace had a grasp that pure/genuine relationships can only take place in the midst of full honest disclosure. Until she could be truthful with Bob about everything, their relationship would lack depth and meaning.
Our relationship with our Maker, our spouse, and our spiritual community is much the same way. We must be able to talk freely about our fears and failures if we are to build any depth into our relationships. Confessing our sins to God and to one another is a vital step in our spiritual journey (James 5:16). Much like Grace understood that she is unable to have a “true relationship” with Bob without full disclosure, we too must understand that without open honest relationships, we will fail in our journey towards fellowship with God, our spouse/family , and our spiritual gathering. Here are some practical thoughts in nurturing your most vital relationships.
1. Talk to God in prayer about everything in your life. You may think that it is insignificant, however God desires a relationship with you not your “want” list. Read His word to understand his thoughts on the topic. Talk to Him about your fears, failures, joys, and successes. Don’t ever stop sharing your heart with Him.
2. Full disclosure with a spouse/family can be difficult at times. However, I have found that over time, it is better to know and understand each other’s struggles than to live in denial. If this has not been a regular part of your relationship with your spouse, I would encourage you to discuss the idea of “full disclosure” and then as each spouse feels led, share needs, fears, and successes. Pray with each other over them and continue to understand each other deeply. Gather tools to encourage each other and pray for each other daily. You cannot pass on to your kids and grandchildren something that you are unable to practice yourself.
3. Appropriately share with your spiritual community. Confessing our sins one to another is a humbling practice. However, I urge you to do it with wisdom. Confession is not for the purpose of “fixing” each other, but rather encouraging each other to live a life of purity before God. When things are brought into the open it takes the devil’s foothold off your life. It may be appropriate at times to break the group into smaller gender specific groups of men, women, and young people.
Just as Grace understood that her relationship with Bob would never be meaningful without fully disclosing her condition and whose heart she had, we too will never understand true community until we learn to disclose our challenges to God, our spouse/family, and our spiritual community. Paul shares with the Thessalonian church that he not only shared the Gospel of God but his life, that is why they became such dear brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ. May you begin to understand the power of true community in the midst of your challenges. Remember that Jesus Christ is made perfect in our weakness not just in our strengths.
1 comment:
In my experience with this full disclosure needs to be motivated by love and in consideration for whomw we are sharing "the whole truth about ourselves". This is not a copout for hiding sin, but for instance temptation and or failure in sexual areas are perhaps best shared with a covenant relationship gender same. It may feel great (carthaqrtic) to dump our sexual failure on our mate but can literally crush a relationship. Caution, couneling and moderation is in order with this area. Most other areas can be shared openly and freely. This is my personal experience in whatching God heal, seal, and satan destroy when selfish motives are involved. Good topic area! Walking the light as he is in the light strengthens our fellowship with him and one another.
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